Mentorship Happens in the Mundane
There are times when I don’t feel like I’m doing a lot.
That sounds bad but allow me to explain. Let’s roll back the calendar to two years ago.
Talking at My Phone
I have a silly memory of trying to make youth ministry work in April of 2020. It had become abundantly clear that there would be no more youth group for a while, and the summer looked bleak. I had kept in touch with several of the high schoolers, and eventually, they learned that graduations were getting canceled.
So, there I am, once again, on Instagram live, sitting on my front porch, teaching a devotion I had thrown together that week. With maybe six students or total strangers having watched me for about 15 minutes, I closed the app, posted it, and had “Zoom Decompression Face,” or ZDF.
You have experienced this. You leave a Zoom meeting or a Facetime call, and the only thing you’re looking at is your reflection on the dark screen. Then, the congenial smile just peels off, your posture wanes, and you stare at yourself, thinking, “what the heck am I doing?”
Eventually, we were able to have youth group, masked up, outdoors, and whatever else it took. Our group looked a little different; some people had gone, and some new people had jumped in, week to week. Cards on the table: we just held on for dear life that year. That said, it was really good!
I noticed something earlier this year, though: the teenagers that stuck around or were “bought-in” were the ones that had an adult in the student ministry they talked to regularly.
A crew of new freshmen girls arrived, and I was worried we couldn’t put on the production to retain them. The group chat they had with our college-age youth coach, Claire, made them love it there.
There were boys that had a small group in 8th grade that just made it work on Zoom for a year. They still meet week to week with that same youth coach, albeit in person now.
I had a group of high school guys that liked to play videogames and Dungeons and Dragons, so we would try to play on Zoom or Discord, and I’d ask how their week was.
For years of youth ministry, I agonized over all these details about the production. What does the youth room look like? What does the music sound like? Where does this rank on the ‘coolness meter’? When you are staring into your phone with Zoom Decompression Face, having talked to yourself on Instagram for 15 minutes, you begin to doubt whether that was really the thing to worry about. Then, we saw the fruits of ... well... just hanging out. “What the heck am I doing?”
Summer Camp
Our high school goes to their summer conference, CIY Move in about 2 months, meaning I will meet with the youth coaches for that trip very soon. I like to take them out to eat and thank them in advance for their time and commitment.
At that meeting, I go over expectations, goals, and a rundown of the week. Every year, this is what I tell them:
“The biggest thing you can do this week is be available and listen to kids.”
They give up a week of summer, sometimes vacation time, to travel in a van to a college campus and stay in a dorm, playing too much Ultimate Frisbee, staying up way too late, and they want to know: What do you need
from me this week? Why am I here?
“The biggest thing you can do this week is be available and listen to kids.”
God takes care of the rest, and I’ve seen it year after year. It’s not about doing some Herculean feat of spiritual strength and having the perfect thing to say. It’s recognizing ‘God’s been at work here for a while, and I’m just now showing up to listen and catch up.’
Peter
I think about Peter a lot as a youth minister because the 12 Disciples look a lot like a youth group. We have these amazing moments recorded in the Gospels of Peter and Jesus interacting and these times when Jesus has Godly wisdom to pass down to Peter. I mean, we’ve got the walking on water episode, there’s the feeding of the five thousand, and take your pick of healings. It’s good stuff.
If you condense that down and think about those events, all the interactions we have between Jesus and Peter... how long do you think the sum of those events takes? Do we have a week of their interactions recorded? Maybe a full month, if we’re being generous and including all the travel?
Jesus was with Peter THREE YEARS! There were probably a lot of boring days. A lot of days where the holiness barometer didn’t move and the spiritual windsock wasn’t really blowing. They had mundane conversations. They probably talked about their family, their childhood, the weather, or what kind of food they liked. But this is the thing: ministry is mundane sometimes.
There are times when I don’t feel like I’m doing a lot... but I can see God is doing a ton. I see how a food run to Swenson’s makes a kid comfortable enough to ask deep questions. I’ve seen a silly dance party at a weekend of camp become the launching point for a small group (miracles come in mysterious forms). There have been throw-away conversations about friends and teammates often enough that when they’re invited to church, half the group feels like they know this person.
Mentorship happens in the mundane.
We need mentors.
Summer youth group is spaced out and goofy and fun. In the fall, when we meet more regularly, I do not want to go back to worrying about if we’re cool. I want to have a team of people that say, “I’m available.” God shows up in those moments and through those people.
If you’re fired up about that, if you think it sounds awesome to hang out and watch God do the rest, would you consider reaching out?
Below is a form that takes you through the steps to joining our team and making a difference in the lives of students.